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Reach or Throw, Don’t Go

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When I was in middle school, I volunteered as a counselor at my town’s “Safety Town,” a summer program for children entering kindergarten. The kids came in every day for two weeks to learn about everything safety, from crossing the street to avoiding strangers. I attended the program as a 5-year-old and volunteered as a preteen for four summers. I lived Safety Town.

One lesson, in particular, that has stuck with me over the years was about water safety. When someone is having trouble in a pool or drowning, we taught the kids “Reach or throw, don’t go.” This means in order to save your friend, reach out an arm or a stick of some kind to them or throw them a flotation device, DON’T GO IN AFTER THEM. The idea is that if you hop in the pool to try to save your friend, their panic will often lead to your harm.

The reason I bring up this anecdote is because I think the idea is so relevant but in terms of mental health and emotional peace. If your friend is drowning in emotional pain or stress, reach or throw, don’t go.

I have been someone who has tried to get in the water to help a friend, and I’ve seen it countless times. We as helpers get into the trouble to help our friends, and eventually we’re under so much pressure and stress to make their problems go away that they become our problems. That’s not fair, and it’s not right.

As humans, it is our instinct to help those in need. And of course, you should help your friends as much as you can, but don’t let them drown you. They won’t do it on purpose, but it will happen. Misery loves company, and it’s a burden too heavy with which to try to swim.

The missing part of the rhyme is obviously, get a lifeguard (it doesn’t rhyme so well). Lifeguards always get in the water to help people drowning, why don’t they have to follow the rule? The difference is, they are trained to do this. They have to get in the water to save people, and they know how to do it without hurting themselves. In the real world application, if you’re a trained lifeguard- therapist, psychologist, life coach- absolutely get in the water. Maybe you still shouldn’t if it is a close friend struggling, but that is up to your own discretion.

It’s hard sometimes because sometimes it seems like the person struggling doesn’t have time to wait for you to get something to reach or throw. The tide is pulling them out further and further, and you can’t reach them with this method. That doesn’t mean you have to jump in. Again, get help from a trained professional. It is not your job to save your friends. It is your job to help them as best you can, support them when they get rescued, and be there for them to make sure it doesn’t happen again. But it is not your job to go in after them. Life is hard, but we all have to live it. Reach or throw, don’t go.

xoxo,

Kam

Problematic or Not

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I did it. Today someone on my instagram feed “did a thing,” and I had to say something about it. This young woman with whom I attended middle school several years ago has recently been posting photos of herself modeling in various places and doing various things. They’re all beautiful, and she is a lovely girl from what I remember. Today, however, she posted a new photo of herself in an American Indian-style tribal headdress.

Again, I have hardly, if at all, spoken to this girl since around 2010, and we weren’t best friends back then, just to set the scene for you. And I am not the girl who comments on Kylie Jenner’s instagram when she wear cornrows or blasts Iggy Azealea for her racist actions. So did I step out of line? Perhaps. But I tried to do so as respectfully as possible to point out the flaws of this photo. Here is what went down:

Me: “I’m rarely the one to cry cultural appropriation especially to a culture that’s isn’t my own but this is completely disrespectful. You are stunning in this photo and the others but I would recommend you and your photographer do some research especially if you are trying to be a professional. This is becoming more and more of shameful action. I don’t mean to be rude or point my finger at you but it’s really not the best representation of yourself and your art.” I also posted a link to an MTV article about appropriation especially in the form of wearing headdresses.

Girl: “I already read the article. i am fully aware of this being politically incorrect. although to appreciate another culture is nothing shameful. people dress in costume every Halloween like this in face paint as well making it a joke. white girls wear their hair in cornrows. I appreciate you trying but why don’t you rag on all the girls wearing kimonos from lawrence”

Me: “This issue isn’t wearing something from another culture. If you read the article you’ll know the problem with this specifically is a sacred tradition. It’s your gram, you can post what you want. I am just saying if I was trying to be seen as professional this would not be my chosen route.”

Girl: “‘The headdress is reserved for our revered elders who, through their selflessness and leadership, have earned the right to wear one.’ i read it Kam. thank you. i have people very close in my life that are Native American and haven’t said anything. Professional… there’s a whole page of well known models wearing this head piece. I go to college to be a social worker i live my whole life to help others. i’m wearing a head piece that is beautiful. leave me alone.”

I was then told by her other followers that I am “just jealous” and to “leave with my negative energy if her page isn’t up to my standards,” where she did defend that I was just sharing my opinion and we can agree to disagree, so thanks for that.

Now I’m speaking on my own site, so let me continue with my opinion and negative energy.

First of all, like I said to this girl, I was not trying to attack her personally or call her a racist or anything. I think I chose my words carefully, and I appreciate the way she defended herself. I took the approach as to letting this be a teaching moment. I don’t know if she is trying to be a professional model, I don’t know if her photographer is a professional or trying to be one. What I do know is that this post was not “politically incorrect,” it was just downright offensive. The article explained that the use of the headdress is traditionally sacred, which is why it’s not okay for commoners to put one on to take an edgy photo. Kimonos, are not sacred cultural symbol, so for girls from Lawrence or wherever to wear something in the style or even called a “kimono” is okay. Should we all take a history lesson when donning trends from other cultures? Sure. But is there a difference between sharing trends and appropriating culture? Absolutely.

Again, I am rarely the one commenting on things like kimonos and cornrows, because things like that seem more of a gray area to me, and I am still learning. When it comes to headdresses, it’s just a fact. Victoria’s Secret couldn’t get away with it. Pharrell couldn’t get away with it. Will this girl get away with it? Maybe. It’s her personal instagram account and I seemed to be the only person who cared, but hopefully she’ll think about her actions because I said something.

I have posted before about my annoyance with the apparent influx of “cultural appropriation arguments.” My first week of college I wanted to yank my eyeballs out because it was such a “big deal,” but I think some aspects are important. I say some not to say some cultures being targeted are less important, but rather to say that in becoming more aware of this, we are walking a fine line.

The issue is being afraid of cultural appropriation rather than being aware of it. If something you want to wear or do might be considered appropriation, you should absolutely research it. But the keyword there is research, not just avoiding it altogether. If we walk around on eggshells saying things like “I shouldn’t use chopsticks that’s appropriation!” we breed xenophobia. I think chaotically-neutral on tumblr said it best when they said,

“Historically, separating cultures often leads to cultural incompetence, xenophobia, discrimination, stereotyping, and racism. Cultural appropriation is bad, but that doesn’t make cultural segregation good.”

I’m not always right. But I think discourse is important especially when it come to these issues. The girl on instagram said she lives her whole life to help others and I think that’s great. However, I think she made a mistake in posting this picture and I hope she and the people that applauded her can see that.

The world is constantly changing, and it’s hard to keep up with what is still okay to do and what is really looked down upon in society. We’re all gonna make mistakes, but I hope that we continue to accept when that happens and learn from them.

xoxo,

Kam

UPDATE: 9 hours later the picture is still up, and someone else has joined the argument. This person commented:

“Honestly i truly believe cultural appropriation is determined by who you are as a person and your morals and beliefs and i think the issue with so many people is that they are assuming that you are not advocating for the oppressed people you are so called “representing” but they wouldn’t know that. If they knew you theyd know you are going to school for social work aka working against social issues. Basically i always say never appreciate a negative opinion from someone who doesnt really know you.”

To which the poster replied:

“This was so well said. thank you. the whole issue with wearing a headpiece is that in their culture you have to earn the right to wear it, but i do not live in their society. i fully respect their traditions.”

I’m trying to let it go and walk away, but I am getting angrier. I would post more comments on the picture, but clearly no one is paying attention. Basically, this person is saying you’re only appropriating a culture if you actually hate and intend to disrespect the culture and its people. She is correct and saying I don’t really know the girl who posted the picture. I don’t know her morals or her actions. But, I never said she was a bad person for posting this. I did say I think her actions were disrespectful and it is cultural appropriation.

Once again, it’s not about whether or not she hates Native Americans. I don’t think that’s what she is saying in the photo. The fact is she took a symbol- the headdress- which is sacred in Native American culture, and used it in a casual way. This is appropriation because it is taking something that is earned and highly regarded in a culture and dismissing it as a fashion accessory. She made it worse when she defended herself by saying she earned it because she’s a good person.

Also, does this other commenter know what a social worker is? Not to say they don’t do good work, but “working against social issues” isn’t exactly the job description. I suppose that’s a really general description, but their job is not to be out fighting racism, they help families and in some cases people with disorders and other issues. Again, not bad work, very good work indeed, just not what this person thinks they do.

Also, does the poster realize the hypocrisy in her statement, “I do not live in their society. I fully respect their traditions.” YOU ARE DOING THE OPPOSITE. She is saying “I’m not black so I can say the n-word because I ‘respect’ them.” Her friend is saying, “I can be racist because I’m a good person.”

I am appalled.

I am also counting my blessings because I am so grateful for my education.

Finally,

Kam

Why I Want to be a Trophy Wife

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Woah woah woah. Before you start asking yourself, “Wait, isn’t Kamaron a super feminist? Why would she post this???” remember that headlines are meant to grab your attention and pull you in.

The term “trophy wife” is one often used by men and women alike to describe a woman that a man married for her looks. She is there to sit on his shelf and look pretty while everyone admires what a great job he has done.

Stop this.

This idea is ridiculous, and both parties look dumb taking part in it.

I love when anyone- especially men- find me attractive. Who doesn’t? It’s good to feel good about yourself, and it is good to find someone who is physically attracted to you. However, if I am looking for a mate, I NEED him to be attracted to my brain. I will always accept compliments. You love my hair? Great. You think I should be a model? Awesome. But self-indulgence aside, I want him to also tell me how smart he thinks I am. How creative I might be. How he loves the way my mind works. How he is generally interested in the things I have to say.

I cannot iterate how irritating it is to be around a man, or a woman for that matter, who is only interested in how I look. Not just because beauty is fleeting and it’s the inside that counts and all that, but because it’s boring. We can only talk about my physical features for so long then I want to know who you think is the best bet for presidential candidacy or climate change or literally anything that involves some amount of critical thinking.

So why do I want to be a trophy wife? Because I think we should redefine what that means. A trophy is something that you win. You have to be the best to earn the trophy in competition, and let’s face it: life and dating is a competition. I want to be the trophy for most beautiful, but also most intelligent, most creative, most engaging, etc. I want to be a prize that a man earns because he is interested in these traits about me, and he thinks I am the blue ribbon across the charts.

You want to know one of the most destructive phenomenon in out society? The participation trophy. The idea that everyone should get an award just for showing up. That’s wrong. Should we encourage kids that each and every one of them is special and has potential? Absolutely. But don’t tell your kids that if they show up and exist they will get the same outcome as the kid who shows up and puts in the most effort. You don’t walk into a company and expect to get hired just for showing up, right? Why do we teach this to our children? Feelings will be hurt. But lessons will also be learned.

Bringing that into the trophy wife idea, the old meaning of the term is like a participation trophy. If a man (or woman), walks up to a woman (or man), and tells them they’re pretty, they should get a date, or in this case, a spouse. That’s crazy. You have to earn it.

To the “husbands,” look below the surface. Find out their interests, talents, hobbies, everything, and decide if this person is actually what you want. To the “wives,” set your standards high. Be the best you that you can be. Tell this person your interests and your strengths. Let them know that you are an amazing person, and decide if they are good enough for you. Also, reverse the roles here. Every trophy wife needs her trophy husband. He should be someone she wants to show off because she also had to earn him.

Do better.

xoxo,

kam

How to Let a Guy Down Gently

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Step 1: don’t.

In any relationship or situationship I handle, it is always my priority to be brutally honest at all times. That’s just how I am. I think it makes things easier and clearer and it keeps people from being misled and confused.

The best way to do this from the start of any “thing” is to be honest about what you want-especially if you don’t want anything.

Situation: I was talking to this guy for like a week before I became disinterested. Nothing against him, he just wasn’t my type. So I just kind of stopped responding. I know, kind of goes against my point, but you would think he’d take a hint.

No. No hints. He texted me 10 times over the span of 3 weeks with no reply. Here’s the part where I explain why I should’ve taken my own advice and why honesty is best. If I, the woman in this heterosexual situation, had texted him that often with no response, I have no doubt in my mind I would’ve gotten a little crazy and angry and to his friends I would be the “crazy stalker girl.”

Like thanks to this patriarchal society, women are always the crazy ones if they are simply interested in a guy and not willing to give up. The last guy who stopped talking to me, I think I texted him twice before I assumed he was filing a restraining order against me. It’s ridiculous. But men can text girls nonstop for weeks and we just accept it as normal or desperate, but normal.

Listen up ladies (or others caught in this mindset): you’re not crazy. Whether you’re the texter, or the texter, you’re not crazy. You just need to be honest. Textee: if you don’t want to get texts from this person anymore, say so. That’s what I ended up doing with this situation. I straight up said: “I’m not interested.” And he left me alone. May that have hurt his pride? Maybe. Is that my problem? No. I don’t owe him anything. Texters: if you really think this person shouldn’t be ignoring you, say so. There’s no harm in saying “Look, I think we had a good connection, and forgive me if I misread that, but I would like to hear from you IF you are interested. If not, I will leave you alone.” That’s it. If they don’t respond, let it go. If they do respond and they’re not interested, let it go. You can’t control people, but you can control how you handle these situations and how they play out if you just make things clear.

The world needs a little more honesty.

Xoxo,
Kam

Boycott Taylor Swift

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Here we go.

If any of you know me personally, you know that I am not a fan of Taylor Swift. For me, it started with the music. I am not a fan of country music, so I wasn’t really into her at first. Then she got into a more pop sound so I kind of liked her okay. Who didn’t jam out to “You Belong With Me” in 7th grade? Then something changed for me. I don’t know what, if I just got tired of her music and then full on didn’t like her or if something actually happened. I don’t remember. Either way by the time she was working on her plot to destroy America, I was over her.

Let me tell you about my issues with her now. First of all, I’ve always kind of seen her as a sellout. She’s from Pennsylvania, which can be a little hick-y in some parts, but not so much Reading, her hometown. So when she decides to go into country music, I personally see that as kind of fake. Like you’re singing with a twang, but you’re from the Northeast… Alright. THEN she sold out of country music into her transitional period. Where she was still winning country music awards but her music was basically pop. Again, I couldn’t care less about country music and who gets awards, but it’s kind of sketchy that she couldn’t pick a side and it seems to me she was trying to capitalize on the music industry. And now, she’s moved from being a pop princess to trying to rebrand herself as not only a pop singer, but a New Yorker city-loving girl. Again, she’s from Pennsylvania. Who is the real Taylor Swift?

No matter where she’s pretending to be from, she’s just a money hungry selfish businesswoman. I get it. We’re all trying to make a living here. But most artists in the industry are in it for the music, and I question Taylor’s motivation. She pretends to be this All-American sweetheart with a group of perfect little minions, but she’s evil.

What other artist sues their own fans for creating their own memorabilia? I can’t think of anyone. She does this. I’m all for artists making money off of their work. I think it is hard to make it big in that business. But she has made it big. She’s worth $200 million. Yet she sues her own fans for creating paraphernalia with her face on it, and has even sued the man who allegedly taught her how to play guitar. These are everyday people with probably everyday jobs, and she will not allow them to make a cent off of her. You can’t even play her music on Spotify EVEN if you pay for it.

But it’s not all about the money. If Taylor Swift is such a good and sweet girl, what is she doing for this world? She throws money at some charities here and there, so that’s nice, but easy. Her most public cause I think most people would argue is her feminism. This is problematic.

Taylor Swift is only a feminist when it is beneficial to her moneymaking schemes. A majority of her hits come from break-ups. That’s like her MO. And she eventually took a lot of heat from that. She was teased about dating a lot of men, being a crazy person, etc. And that was all funny until she started bringing up the point that men like John Mayer, whom she dated, are notorious womanizers and serial daters, yet get none of the attention like she does. As soon as she said it, everyone was like “Yay super feminist Taylor Swift!” but that was it.

NOW she has started all this beef with Nicki Minaj (BIG mistake), and not only made a statement about her stance on racism, but also contradicted her whole mantra. While unnecessarily defending herself, Taylor made a comment about “women putting down other women.” This is not the first time she has taken this stance. Back in 2013, about Tina Fey and Amy Poehler poking fun at her, Taylor said,

“You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people, because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, ‘There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.'”

YET, in the tweet, Taylor Swift was defending her music video for her song, “Bad Blood.” “Bad Blood” is a song that Taylor admittedly wrote about another female artist. She wrote a song about how much she was hurt by this other artist, and created a whole music video where she gets her girl gang together to destroy this other FEMALE artist. Idea for her next song: “Foot in Mouth Syndrome.”

Leaving out the whole part about Nicki Minaj talking about racism, and Taylor Swift thinking it’s about her… Taylor Swift is a monster.

Why I Need Feminism

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If you don’t like feminist rants, stop reading. But know that you shouldn’t stop reading because if you don’t like feminist rants, there’s a good chance you need to read this.

Dear men,
Stop standing behind me at the gym while I’m using a machine. I am not going to get off the machine any faster with you breathing down my neck. I get it. You NEED to work out RIGHT NOW, but listen, I was here first. This is how order works. Without waiting our turn for things, the world would be in chaos. You look really creepy doing this, and it’s really freaking rude. You don’t do this to other males. In fact when other males are on machines, you do something else until they’re done, and then ask them if they’re done before you use it. WOMEN DESERVE THE SAME RESPECT. The gym is not “your turf.” I would not treat you like this if you came to the beauty salon. Why? Because these are public places, not operated by your patriarchy. It is 2015. Every man after Adam came out of a woman. Show some respect.

This actually happened to me. This actually happens kind of a lot to me. If you read my blog religiously, or sporadically I suppose, you know I hate going to the gym. I really do. In case I needed another reason, here is one. Men. Why is it that when I go to the gym I feel like I have to be neither seen nor heard so I don’t get in the way of men picking up heavy things? It’s not fair. It’s really messed up.

The entire time I’m at the gym I’m reminding myself in my head that I owe nothing to the men around me. I do not need to get out of their way. I’m here for the same reason they are. I pay the same membership price. I am a human being. Yet I still get the looks and the signs that I’m in “their way.” It’s ridiculous.

The icing on the cake is that I go to Planet Fitness. I literally go to the gym they call a “Judgement Free Zone.” The idea behind Planet Fitness is that it’s a chill gym. They don’t want bodybuilders and overenthusiastic weight lifters there. The point of Planet Fitness is Fitness. It’s not for you to get ripped, or to get shredded or anything. Like it’s for middle aged people and girls like me who just need a treadmill and some weights. No one at Planet Fitness is going to the Olympics. My 3 minutes on any given machine will not derail your entire workout regimen. And even if it did, I pay to go here! It’s not YOUR gym!

So please, men, calm down. Take a deep breath. Wait your turn. And stop expecting women to get out of your way. We’re not in your way. We’re just here.

Rant over.

xoxo
Kam

Check Your Privilege

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Trigger Warning: if you live a charmed life, this might offend you.

Let me start off by saying I am very happy with my life. I don’t think I’d pick another one any day of the week. Of course, I might change some variables if I could, but I love the person I am and most of that is shaped by the life I’ve been given.
That being said, if you are someone who hasn’t really had much of a struggle, I invite you, no I beg you to please check your privilege. Take a good hard look at your life, and cherish blessing you have received. In suburban America, I do not consider myself privileged. On a world scale, even on just a more macro scale of America, I do consider myself privileged. So I can also use this pep talk every now and then, but let me talk to those above me on this privilege scale.
Let’s not even talk about material things. Let’s talk emotions. Disgusting confession: I hate when people my age (19) are devastated by the loss of a grandparent. I know it’s such a horrible horrible thing to say, but it’s the honest feeling I get in my gut when people talk to me about like that specific thing. It’s so messed up, and I know that but I can’t help it. I send my condolences and move on with it. I know, some people are super close with their grandparents, I’m not really one of those people, and I won’t say it’s not a sad thing, but to me, it’s just so minimal on the emotional damage scale. I know I’m really messed up in the head, but can you blame me? I lost my dad when I was 12. Yes, I’m playing the dead dad card, but that’s my reasoning. I started losing grandparents when I was 5 I think. Will I be sad when I lose my remaining grandmothers? Absolutely. But I don’t predict it rocking my world the way losing a father did. To me, you’re supposed to lose your grandparents. It’s like the circle of life. You’re supposed to lose your parents too. Hopefully not when you’re 12, but hey! That’s life. So that’s my horrible thought of the day. Back to privilege though.
What I’m trying to get at, is this idea that we all have something that is the worst thing that has ever happened to us. For me, it’s losing my father. For some people, it’s losing a grandparent. For some people it’s losing a dog. Literally. I’m not teasing or trying to cheapen your pain, but that’s when you know you have a charmed life. Like, I sometimes wonder what those kids write their college essays about. I feel terrible just putting these thoughts onto a screen, but you know what? I’m not sorry. Because what I’m really trying to get at is more on a world scale.
When Caitlyn Jenner first appeared as Caitlyn Jenner, I thought, “Great!” I didn’t see it as a win for the Trans community or a huge step in equality or anything like that. I really saw it as “Great! Another celebrity has the ability to accept herself and has the financial ability to change her physique to accompany that and the social status to still have some respect for it.” However, her speech at the ESPYs last night changed my mind a bit. My favorite quote was,

“If you want to call me names, make jokes, doubt my intentions, go ahead, because the reality is, I can take it,” she said. “But for the thousands of kids out there, coming to terms with being true to who they are, they shouldn’t have to take it.”

That’s when Caitlyn Jenner started to matter to me. I know a speech seldom makes an actual difference (that was a little bit sarcasm), but I’m glad she said it. I wish her youngest daughter could take a lesson from her @ Kylie Jenner. That quote is what it means to check your privilege. Mean things said about celebrities might hurt them, but for every mean thing said about them, they still make money and 12 nice things are said about them. That’s not true for kids growing up in adversity.

I think that’s all I have to say. Another whirlwind of a thought-piece by yours truly.

xoxo
Kam

Kylie Jenner’s Lips

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Well, well, well. It looks as though the truth has finally reached the surface. Kylie Jenner came clean on last week’s episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians that she has temporary lip fillers. I for one, am not surprised. I am however, a little pissed off.

There are all kinds of opinions out there about how Kylie’s lips have influenced young girls to try dangerous stunts to look like her, how they perpetuate cultural appropriation or something, etc. And while those may be somewhat valid issues, they’re not the ones that bother me.

What bothers me first, is the fact that she lied about it for this long. We all knew. We saw the pictures. She claimed it was make-up. And for a while, apparently it was make-up, but then it wasn’t just make-up. Why didn’t she come clean then? Because of her insecurity.

Listen, I can understand an insecurity. We all have at least one. I get it. It’s also probably hard to have insecurities when you grow up in the spotlight and millions of people tell you you’re perfect every day. That’s the thing about insecurities, you still feel them even when everyone else disagrees with you. I get that. However, I cannot condone this message she is sending that says if you have money, you can fix your insecurities.

This girl is 18. She is barely legal. And she has already had work done. Fine, it’s not permanent and if she wanted to, she could stop the injections at any time and the effects would wear off. But she is paying hundreds of dollars to alter her face because she’s insecure. What kind of message does that send?

I’m not in favor of parents yelling at celebrities for being bad influences. I think it’s stupid, really. If you can’t raise your kid well enough for them to know the difference between celebrities and real people, then you have bigger problems. But that doesn’t stop kids from looking up to celebrities. And it’s a cool thing nowadays for celebrities to embrace their insecurities. They show them off or just talk about them because at the end of the day they’re human. What I cannot get down with is the fact that now Kylie Jenner is saying yes I have an insecurity, but I can afford to get rid of it. That’s just ridiculous.

Guess what kids? I know you may be insecure about your face or your body or your hair, but if you make millions of dollars a year, you don’t have to deal with it. I think I would have less of a problem if Kylie Jenner had earned any of her money on her own, but she was actually just born into the right family.

Consider this a rant about me being poor, or hating on celebrities, or whatever you want, but that’s my opinion. Shame on you, Kylie Jenner.

xoxo,

Kam

Leave Disney Princesses Alone!

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While we’re on the subject of body shaming, can we talk about Disney Princesses?

Yes. The secret is out. Cinderella, Aurora, Snow White, all unrealistic bodies that would not support human life in the real world. But that’s the thing- they don’t exist in the real world. These are cartoon characters.

Why is it such a crime that all the princesses are skinny? Would I hate a plus-sized princess? No, but I don’t think it’s necessary. I keep seeing articles about people getting all up in arms because these characters have “unrealistic body standards.” My question is: whose standards are you holding yourselves or other people to? I know that there is this idea of ideal beauty in most of society’s mind that includes a slim waist. However, I do not for a second believe that that standard comes from cartoons. And I certainly do not believe they are furthering that standard.

Proportions are funny. Like for most of us not great artists when we’re asked to draw a face and we draw it with the eyes where the forehead should be and the nose in the true center of a perfectly circular face. I think a lot of us don’t understand how the actual proportions of our bodies work. But it’s not like we freak out if a person’s nose is in the exact center of the face. I don’t know if this is making sense.

I know the people at Disney have probably taken a few drawing classes, so they actually do understand proportions, and just choose to mess them up. But that doesn’t mean ill-proportioned bodies are becoming an expectation for our young girls. I think little girls want to look like Cinderella, yes, but not because her neck is the same size as her waist; it’s because she’s a freakin princess.

The point is, I don’t think women and girls look to cartoons for body inspiration. I think they do look at celebrities, I do it myself. And I’m not saying all celebrities should be a certain size in order to make girls feel comfortable. I think we’re getting past idolizing the anorexic look, and forgive me if I’m wrong. If we need better “role models” for our bodies (which in reality, we don’t need them at all) then we need more representation in live action movies. And even then, how about we just stop comparing ourselves to people who are on camera for a living. I know, easier said than done, but it’s the only solution.

Anyway, forget about cartoons. It’s not their fault we’re a messed up society.

Sorry this was a word vomit of a post.

xoxo,
Kam

I Believe in Generation Y

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I guess a cool thing for “the man” and the baby boomers to do these days is complain about how my generation (today’s teens and young adults) acts narcissistic and is completely absorbed by technology. Like there’s this one commercial for mobile banking or something and it shows a family going on vacation. Then the parents say something about not having cell reception on the island and the teenaged kids are devastated. They say things like “you mean we’ll actually have to talk to each other???” In the most dramatic voices.

This is offensive.
I will admit, we young whippersnappers spend too much time on our phones and it has affected the way we communicate with people around us and in the “real world.” However we have not become mindless zombies wh0 typ3 lykee th!$. I think in reality we’ve become the opposite.
Technology is a beautiful thing, and social media while it has its flaws, has taught us how to thrive in the modern world. Take Vine for example. It’s a platform where users post up to 6-second long videos for their friends and followers to view. At first it looked like Vine was for lazy people. People so lazy or attention-deficit that they could only watch 6-second videos. Now Vine has blown up into a whole new world of art. I’m not kidding. There are people making money off of Thai because they have learned ways to use their creativity to make 6-second masterpieces. And those people are my age. If you watch some of the crazy viral Vines you’ll see. It’s not something people do when they’re bored anymore. It’s something people are taking time to plan, write, and produce. If that’s not amazing, I don’t know what is.
And beyond that, looking at Twitter. Kids today use Twitter for all kinds of things like tweeting “Kim Kardashian is my mom” to “#BlackLivesMatter.” Whatever it is, they have to condense their input down to 140 characters. And people are posting political, social, opinions in clear and concise tweets that might be seen by 10-1 million people.
I am just always amazed at the way my generation takes good inventions and turns them into advancements. Beyond that, we are connecting across the globe. Yes, we interact way differently than our predecessors, but we share our thoughts and opinions with people we have never even met. The tumblr community for example is always proving the doubters wrong in my opinion. Our elders say our generation, the “selfie generation” is narcissistic. That may be true, but we care so much about each other and the worlds in which we live. Every time a social justice issue arises, the tumblr community explodes not only with opinions, but offering prayers and support to whomever needs it. If they hear about another tumblr user who committed suicide because they’re parents didn’t accept them, they make that kid a celebrity overnight. If they hear about issues not being covered enough by mass media, they tell everyone they know and people they don’t know about it. And this is the website that made “memes” a thing.
I get really happy when I see what people my age are doing for our world, and there’s not a lot I hate more than old people making fun of us because they don’t get it. When we inherit this world, or what’s left of it, I really think it might just be a better place.
Xoxo,
Kam